How To Get Back Into Dating After A Long Relationship?

Lauren Welch
4 min readMar 23, 2021


Dating After A Long Term Relationship: Tips That Can Help You

How to date again after a long relationship? That’s a difficult question lots of people require an answer for. But the truth is there’s no right or best scenario. Everyone deals with heartbreaks in many ways. Let’s have a look at possible ways out and find out how long to be single after a long term relationship.

Tips on how to date after a long relationship

Who has never had their heart broken? There are, of course, happy couples that have been together since school and never experienced long, bitter, and painful break-ups. But they’re more of an exception to a rule. And if you’re into the “rule” category and need help, here are a few tips.

Learn to be single

The first question that comes to people’s minds after years of dating is how to be single again after a long-term relationship? You’ve probably forgotten what’s it like — to live life on your own. Here are a few tried-and-true tricks.

  • Reconnect with friends. Especially single ones. This is usually the most effective way — to hang out with people you know well and love and who can support you no matter what.
  • Do your hobbies. Every person has something they enjoy doing the most but usually has no time for while being in a relationship. What do you like? Riding a bike? Running? Fishing? Playing football?
  • Do sports. Physical activities are your best friends as they make your stress level decrease. Never underestimate the power of sport. It’s healing.
  • Try something new. You have more free time now but might still have no hobby or no idea what to do when you’re on your own. Come up with something you always wanted but never tried. This should bring new emotions, pleasure, and even new friends.

Heal fully

How long after a long-term relationship should you wait to date? It depends, of course. There’s no right answer. It may take a week or a year for different people. The only criterion is that you feel healed and ready to move on. There are signs that might tell you’re ready.

  • You laugh and joke around again.
  • Your friends start telling you’re looking better.
  • You feel renewed confidence that love and relationships can have a place in your life again.
  • You don’t think about your ex all the time, don’t call or text her.
  • You have processed your breakup and don’t feel shame or blame.

Test the water — try online dating

The only thought of dating after a long-term relationship ends might be scary. You don’t know or just forgot how to get acquainted with new girls, have small talks, and ask them out. Luckily, there’s a good way out — online dating. If your previous relationship started so many years ago when it was considered strange, good news — nowadays meeting partners online is a normal state of things. Here are some statistics:

  • Almost 20% of Americans claim they personally met their romantic partner through a dating website or app and 30% of Americans know someone who has.
  • There are almost 27 million smartphone dating app users in the United States.
  • Over 40% of Americans have been in a committed relationship or married someone they met through an online dating site or app.

This is just an example of one country. In general, online dating is popular all around the world. Why? What’s so good about it?

  • You meet people with similar values, faith, interests, background and preferences.
  • You always know a person you ask out is single and interested in dating and relationships.
  • It’s less stressful than other ways of meeting people, yet more convenient and accessible.

Consider mail order brides

Another way to start dating again after a long-term relationship is to try mail order bride services. It’s a bit related to online dating and many men and women choose it because of similar reasons — accessibility, affordability, effectiveness. What’s the difference?

Online dating is for different purposes — serious relationships or just hanging out. If you don’t plan long-term affairs and just want to start dating again — it’s perfect. Mail order bride industry is usually for those who can’t find a spouse in their country and look for them abroad. Thus, you can find a wife of any nationality — someone from Asia, Latin America, Europe, etc. The women are open to dating foreigners and look forward to it. Usually, they have strong family values and dream of a loving and reliable husband.

So, a quick plan on how to start dating after a long relationship. First, give yourself time to recover and make sure you’re ready to date because you feel like it, not because you want to distract yourself and forget your ex. Secondly, live life to its fullest even if you don’t have a partner now — have hobbies, meet friends, go to parties.

Finally, give it a try and ask someone out for a dinner or just a walk and a coffee. You may use online dating services for that. They’re usually very helpful for those who start making their first steps towards dating again. Life never ends with your last relationship!



Lauren Welch

Dating expert, relationship columnist.